Fashion with Jeremy

Jean Paul Gaultier Menswear Paris Fashion Week 2011-4

From: Elizabeth’s email address

To: Jeremy’s email address

Date: Last week sometime probably after lunch

Dear Jeremy,

This week I would like to ask your opinion on men’s clothes.  See I’m worried there’s not enough fashion coverage on the blog, and since I know very little about fashion myself, I thought you were probably the most suitable person to cover it.  Attached are some recent looks from the catwalk, if you could summarise your thoughts and send them back to me ASAP, I would really appreciate it.

All the best,

Elizabeth

From: Jeremy’s email address

To: Elizabeth’s email address

Date: Whenever

Hi Elizabeth,

Great to hear from you! Hope the lawsuit’s going OK. Thanks so much for your message – as you know I’ve been trying to break into the fashion world for quite some time now. It’s tough when no-one wants to give you a break!

Here are my thoughts:

Look no. 1

This is a great look from the late Alexander McQueen, who alongside his wonderful fashion career also starred in films such as ‘Bullitt’ and ‘The Great Escape’. I really like it! The one on the left is very practical for warm weather, and cyclists will find it a very chic alternative to your standard hi-vis outerwear for night-time adventure.  The outfit on the right is more suitable for court appearances (as in royalty, not shoplifting. Note to self: find outfit for court appearance for shoplifting).


Look no. 2

Note to editor: As I said in my earlier email, I’m not interested in covering ladies fashion, so the model on the right has no relevance to me.

Model on the left: I hate it! He looks like a dangerous assassin. He even has a holster for his knife for killing people with. Fashion designers, heed my call: hired assassins kill thousands of people a day! It’s inappropriate to adopt their aesthetic for your catwalk show, however tempting. 

Actually now I look at it – now I really, really look at it – I have to admit. He looks good. It reminds of the outfit I wore to my uncle’s wedding:


Look no. 3

I REALLY like it. The vest depicts one of my favorite nebulae, IC5098 (also known as the FCUK Nebula). The leather shorts, finishing at the knee in the traditional fashion of Boy Scouts and fishermen, are very smart – I could rock these to a meeting and no-one would bat an eyelid. The heavy boots look perfect for motorcycling, kicking puppies and indulging foot fetishists. But this outfit is more than just the sum of its parts. Taken as a whole, the outfit conjures the exoticviolent, sensual atmosphere of  ‘Clockwork Orange’ or Costner’s ‘The Postman’ in space. Genius.
Tip for anyone recreating this outfit at home – try replacing the black socks, a safe yet predictable choice, with the latest colourful or patterned choice from TopShop. You’ll be the toast of town! Continue the space theme by munching on a delicious chunk of astronaut ice cream (http://bit.ly/l9T2v5).

Look no. 4

I want you all to look at this photograph very closely. Not for the outfit, which is totally unremarkable in every sense. (Honestly, designers. This is supposed to be high fashion! Get out of the high street already!) No, I want to draw your attention to a very troubling trend in men’s fashion, one which is literally growing under our very noses. Smug facial hair is the scourge of the trade. Models are being thrown out in the street for refusing to wear a goatee. And when was the last time you saw a bushy beard bobbing down the catwalk? I have had testimonials from newcomers to the fashion world. One model, a fuller-bearded man, was told by a stylist: “If you don’t trim,  you won’t win.” Facial hair in today’s cutthroat – no, shavethroat – industry is either non-existent, smug, or, like in the terrorist-styled example above, an afterthought, a JOKE. 

And don’t even get me started on his haircut.
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Comments
One Response to “Fashion with Jeremy”
  1. fashion says:

    informative post.I like this,thanks for sharing.Very nice and

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